Let’s start with a confession – I’m a total spoilt brat when it comes to dreaming of a sunny holiday and a sore loser when faced with the reality … we haven’t had a holiday for two years. We’ve only just finished paying off the one from 2014!
Me: “Going anywhere nice this Summer?”
Friend: “Just a week in Cyprus this year”
This is my resting bitch face. I hope that I can at least curl the sides of my sour-puss grimace to feign a friendly response. Am I pleased for friend? No. I’m revoltingly envious. I am not good at hiding this. Summer has become my nemesis.
Everyday I wake up and check my emails for that deal … ‘7 nights in self catered apartment with pool, £400 including flights’. I frantically refresh and in desperation check the Wowcher deals. In one depraved moment I nearly convince CableBoy that a EuroPark log cabin, notorious for stag and hen-do’s would be a good idea.
I’m still not ready to throw the towel in (oh the irony). But … we have a padding pool, a swing, a trampoline and enough plastic stuff to keep Ebay in business next year. Obviously these things have become invisible to the kids on day 3 of the school holidays. So we seek adventure elsewhere.
My tips for every day thrills with kids:
- Take the left turn, not the right i.e. driving the long way home. Go on be a devil. The kids love Danger Mum.
- Smear Nutella on everything at breakfast (literally everything) and pour them a ‘grown-up’ tea. The smiles last for minutes.
- Actually stop wiping the kitchen-worktops for the 3rd time (Weetabix cement is a b*gger) and join in their twisted version of a game of cards. Flash them some David Blaine skills (hide a card behind your back and toss it in the air … or similar). Joy and rapture.
- Take a tour of the garden (or plant pots if you don’t have one). I’m serious. I ask mine to show me round the garden telling me about the flowers/weeds/bugs and which are their favourite. They’re thrilled to get me away from my laptop and I’m thrilled I saved on the National Trust fee. They even get to water the plants in this one. Winner.
- Crank up the music and dance round the kitchen in your PJ’s. Throw in a few elicit swings for a thrill. Shimmy and go nuts. Kids love an unhinged parent.
Who needs a holiday when you’ve got Nutella and dancing? <ok, crowd funding details coming shortly>